school school school!

omygosh. tomorrow will be a bored and a lazy day!

school again mann! btw, even this holiday was bored, i prefer to have a holiday.

must it called by a student's sick? :P

almost 9 p.m. but i just do nothing. still online, blogging, messengering, handphone-ing, watching television. i have no spirit anymore to do my homework.  especially for music project.

sooooo lazy to go to school tomorrow. ahhh.

why must this holiday end? i need a long long holiday but not a bored holiday.

perhaps, i go to school if i got bored. and continue my holiday if i got bored with school.

it will be so happy! but it just my dream. it will not happen :P

need an inspiration please!

music project!

Mr. Frans a.k.a the loveliest teacher in SMAK IPEKA Tomang gave these project to perform after the holidays. anw, i thought my school wanted to create musicians because for 2 years we always had to create a new song that made by ourselves.

but the problem is. I HAVE NO INSPIRATION.

i just took my guitar, played some songs that worth to play also to sing. when i wanted to compose the song, i getting bored and no spirit to make it.

just played some keys for soul-ing song and put back my guitar into my room.

my holiday will finish soon, for 3 days more maybe.

i have a mathematic test on the first day of october. i forget anything about this subject and how to finish the tasks. it'll be a big surprise and gift! :(

party on the third day of october. i think to give her a worth gift with my 3 friends yet.

so, the music project will be forgotten as time goes by.

because no inspiration is the same like i'll do nothing to compose a new song.

i still need an inspiration. minimal, before i must do my routine activities at school.

fortune cookie

barusan iseng-iseng maen fortune cookies gitu di fesbuk. application yang kadang-kadang malah cenderung gak penting kalo di maenin ato di buka styap hari. tapi gak tau knapa. tadi tuh kepengen iseng aja buka tuh application.

tau-taunya dapet tulisannya gini:

"anger begins with folly and ends with regret"

gak tau knapa. rasanya tuh ngena aja gitu. scara gw emang lagi ada masalah ma satu orang dan emang masalah itu uda di ambang batas kesabaran gw lagi.

emang sih kalo di pikirin, styap kemarahan selalu dimulay sama kebodohan. tapu akhirnya juga nyesel. abies lyad itu fortune cookie, gw jadi ngerasa salah gitu, jadi ngerasa egois banget, gak pernha mau ngrti sikon dy, bahkan slalu nuntut sesuatu yang sebenernya tuh gak gitu penting banget. gw gak mau hubungan gw berakhir gitu aja. uda cukup perjuangan gw ma dy buad jadi satu, gak gampang, malah lebih terkesan banyakan sakitnya daripada senengnya.

gengsi gitu mau sms duluan, dari tadi cuma lyad HP berharap dy sms duluan. tapi sepertinya gak mungkin. apa gw harus sms duluan ya?

kadang-kadang sih gw keterlaluan, gw nyadar smaa hal satu itu.

tired

cape harus trus-trusan ribut. cape harus ngejalanin hubungan dengan penuh banyak kecurigaan gini. cape harus berpura-pura gak ada apa-apa. cape harus selalu berusaha kuat dan gak lemah buat beberapa orang. cape harus selalu ngalah. cape untuk diam. cape untuk nyimpen smuanya sendiri tanpa satu orang pun yang tau.

apa sih yang selama ini gw jalanin? apa sih yang selama ini gw pertahanin? apa sih yang selama ini gw perjuangin? apa sih yang selama ini gw cari? apa sih yang selama ini gw dapet?

ntah otak gw yang salah, ato emang gak tahan sama smua ini. ntah gw yang bodoh, ato emang gak cukup cerdik ngadepin smua ini. ntah gw gila, ato emang smua ini bertambah gak waras. ntah gw yang salah, ato emang gw terlalu banyak ngalah.

kadang gw merasa asing sama diri gw sendiri, merasa gak kenal sama diri gw dan apa yang gw jalanin. gw yang biasanya selalu tahan banting, bermental layaknya seorang "lelaki".

sekarang malah jadi wanita lembek yang gampang ngelakuin hal yang dari dulu benci gw lakuin.

nangies, salah satunya. belakangan ini jadi gampang banget nangies. ntah knapa.

masalah dikit aja rasanya tuh uda gak bisa nahan. kemana diri gw yang dulu ya? :(

gw uda cape, lelah, muak sama smua ini. gw pikir slama ini hubungan bisa dibina via virtual ato ngandelin teknologi muktahir jaman kini, tapi sama aja tuh. toh ujung-ujungnya selalu gak percaya, curigaan, sinis, negative thinking, ribut lagi, adu mulut lagi, diem-dieman lagi.

trus, buat apa janji itu dulu? cuma ucapan di mulut? ato cuma kata-kata selintas di otak gitu?

old town :)

note: some view photos from the old town :)

jalan-jalan ke tua bersama teman semasa SMP. cari-cari foto bagus. gila gilaan. naek sepeda rame-rame. makan di pinggir jalan. naek busway. seru-seruan bareng lagi, walopun gak ngumpul smua.

enak juga sih uda lama gak ngumpul bareng gini. skali-skali reuni teman sepermainan jaman dulu itu enak ya :)

keep contact girls!

a trash!

"skali jadi sampah, teteup akan slalu sampah." 

gak bakal pernah bisa NAEK PANGKAT ato jadi EKSIS bahkan untuk jadi SAMPAH EKSIS skalipun!

aneh yaa. kok bisa sih lu berbuat kayak gitu sebagai tingkah keseharian lu? gak cape ya?

lu uda sering ngerasain jadi sampah, tapi masih aja mau nyampahin orang. ckck

skarang, giliran lu uda punya temen lagi, gw ma temen2 gw langsung di anggap gak ada.

kemana tuh tingkah MALAIKAT lu, AIR MATA BUAYA lu, OCEHAN lu yang ngatain "sohib-sohib" lu ndiri, hahh?

susa sih ya, emang nasib klo gw ma temen2 gw slalu DISAMPAHIN sama sesama sampah kayak lu. dan lu gak pernah nyadar diri.

bukannya minta lu teteup deket ma gw ato temen2 gw ya, gw sama temen2 gw juga GAK SUDI lu deketin. najies, jijay. tapi TOLONG DONG, hargain orang dikit.

kalo mau dihargain, hargain orang dulu.

kalo mau dianggep, anggep orang laen dulu.

jangan suka seenak jidt lu tuh! lu pikir dengan lu gitu, kita smua bisa trima apa?

apa sih gunanya "KE-EKSIS-AN" lu itu yang jelas jelas lu maksa masuk ke lingkungan itu?

byarpun lu di anggep sama sbagian orang, tapi buad gw, LU GAK LEBIH DARI SEKEDAR SAMPAH YANG GAK PERNAH TAU DIRI.

the personality mask! :D

THE PERSONALITY MASK = TOPENG KEPRIBADIAN ! :D

tau kan? beberapa minggu yang lalu, diajarin ma Bu There a.k.a guru BK ipto tentang hal ini.

yang langsung kepikir di otak gw itu, adalah wanita yang sooper dooper munafik dan jelas-jelas memakai topeng kepribadian tersebut.

yayaya, gw uda pernah post tentang seseorang yang munafik sebelumnya dan yang gw tulis skarang tuh masih sama aja orangnya --'

gw ma temen2 skolah gw nybud dy dengan TANTE S! *byar gampang nybudnya lahh.

anw, sebenernya sih, gw gak ada masalah lagi lah ya ma tuh anak. cuma belakangan ini, jadi agak agak menyebalkan dan membuat muak yaa.

masalah dimulay dari:

TANTE S ber-konflik dengan intern "sohib sohib"-nya. ntah masalah apa, gak pduli deh gw. bukan urusan gw ato temen2 gw.

trussss, ini nih inti masalahnya.

dy deketin gw ma beberapa temen gw lagi. seperti SAMPAH ya kita ini. di deketin cuma karena ada maunya. trus klo uda punya temen lagi langsung di tinggalkan seperti ANAK BUANGAN!

skali duakali sih gapapa. lah ini? uda berulang kali dan KITA SUDAH MUAK.

syapa sih gak males di gituin?? 

klo cuma ngomong: "uda lah, kasiann". emang sih, gw ma temen2 gw kasian pas pertama, tapi lama lama kok jadi ngelunjak gitu? slalu di gituin mpe bosen

alhasil, karena gw ma temen2 gw uda males ma dy, kita jauhin - cuekkin - resein - anggep gak ada. tapi yaa, gitu deh. dy slalu pake topeng kepriadiannya. dan TAK PERNAH TAHU DIRI.

emosi gak sih? eneg gw lama2.

dan sampe skarang, TANTE S itu juga masih trus CARI MUKA sama orang orang yang gak tau dy gimana. haduu.

buad gw sih, kalo dy topengin gw, ya gw topengin balik lah. byar tau rasa gimana rasanya gak enak di pakein topeng! gw juga gak pduli seberapa sakitnya dy ntar, toh dy juga uda gituin gw.

bukannya gw mau bales dendem ya, tapi ya skali2 msti di kasih plajaran. gak smua orang trima di gituin ma dy trus2an. apalagi ma gw. gak mungkin gw diemin seenaknya!

mau dy nangies mpe mampus juga bodo amad, hidup dy = ACTING! air mata BUAYA, perkataan "manis" kayak gula, senyum MUNAFIK, ktawa buatan, blablabla.

gak cape ya idup kayak gitu? ato ngrasa diri lu EKSIS dan smua orang mau nrima lu?

orang gak buta kali! masih punya mata. se-tolol2-nya orang juga masih bisa tau klo yang namanya MUNAFIK dan MUKA DUA.

anw, ada 1 QUOTE yang sooper cocok buad TANTE S a.k.a TANTE PERSONALITY MASK a.k.a TJ (TANTE JABL*Y) a.k.a TBD (TANTE BERMUKA DUA):

"yang namanya SAMPAH jangan NYAMPAHIN orang lagi!"

lu itu sampah buad "sohib-sohib" lu. dan lu nyampahin gw ma temen2 gw lagi. JIJIK.

klo gw bisa muntah di depan lu, gw muntah mpe lu sndiri eneg lyad muka lu.

that's you!

love is learning. love is believing. love is receiving the weakness :)

so that's you! i could smile and trust on you. you always know how to make a smile in my lip.

you give me an unconditionally love from your heart even you have known that my heart wasn't on you for the first. you got my heart. you won this love game.

you knew how should you do with a girl. you gave what you should give and never too more.

no pressure. no reason. none like you.

your promised was too much but you always to make it true, never lie and still at the first time i meet you.

you taught me to be stronger and maturer.

but you know?

there were a lotta things that you gave me. a lotta time together. a lotta words to say.

and a lotta love to share.

that why i decided to be yours. feel like i'm yours and would be yours forever.

so, that's you who always can make me mad because of you!

and now, i missed you so damn much.

i never can be like usual as you wish. it's too different.

scholarship result.

yoiyoiyoiyoi

i got the UPH scholarship for 50%. yesterday, they have published on their website and sent a statement letter.

i didn't so surprised about this information because i didn't really wish to get my university education at there. i don't know why. but after got that, i confused.

if i calculated the cost, i must pay 28 millions rupiah from 43 millions rupiah. it included a laptop from a good brand like toshiba - mac or anything else, orientation, a almamater jas, SKS, etc.

and i got 50% discount for the SKS' cost for each semester, at least i must get 3,25 or more IPK from the first semester until the last semester.

the validation was on october 5th, 2009.

i don't know what must i do. i just too dizzy for thinking of this.

mid term test!

finally, it's FINISH!

wanna die if i imagined abut this test. it wasn't worth as a test apparently because even the subject was a major subject of social direction, i never study seriously such a sooper dooper lazy mind on my brain that always told me that i have just to study a little or just read it not to learn it until my brain went out from my head :P

the tenth subjects and 2 subject for each day but it was a "great" combo.

sometimes, i just touch the matter for half or quarter. or never touch it!

for some subject, i have finished before the bell and got bored. i couldn't sleep, just waited until the bell will be ringing by the teacher.

when the test on essay, i have finished my essay for 30-40- minutes from a hour that available for us. i never understand why some of my classroom test mates could write their essay for 2 pages and finished it almost before the bell ringing. what have they write, huh?

after this mid term test, i got a long holiday for 2 weeks actually. it's too long, i think.

yeah, jakarta would be so quiet from the crazy motorcycles, traffic jam, pollution, a crowded place, etc. and it's time to drive faster! :D