MAY 17th, 2009
first day when our story was begun in a new chapter of life. first day when we decided to be united and tried to know each other closely. 5 months ago, we still stuck in a bad phase and so selfish to mean each other. we have broke up for 2 months than started ours again until now. many feelings we have got from those, hurt happy sad love affection. it just made us better, the problems made us mature.
anw, happy first anniversary sweetheart ♥
it would be the second, third and more until we close our eyes forever. blissful for having you in my life :)
the tenderness i felt made me so desperately in love with you. even there was too much problems, we still together. and it always been you who always made me falling so deep
wish all the best for me, you, and us.we have to be better for ours after everything came lately.
i love you, M
heartbeat could be weak day by day, it could take a rest forever. only God knows when it could be and human couldn't oppose what God has decided. as human, afraid - scared - worry - anxious always frighten us wherever we will go
your heartbeat could be weak but i always here for you. i just want you to hold on until we get our own happiness and walk for it. but when God said you're done, i will allow you to leave because i want you get your peace. i knew i was your second heart, you want me to be tough and always strong but i'm not strong as you thought. i'm gonna be weak day by day after you left, gonna be broken slowly. i couldn't promise you that i will walk my life as usual because i knew i couldn't. but i promise will be your side until one of our heartbeat has to break. i love you, M ♥
i have learned much from one page of my life
you, who always by my side taught me a lotta lifes' values and brought new new spirit for me
i knew you were getting worse of your healthy day by day until you pulled your promise to stay with me forever. i understood about it. you realized that i never been ready to loss you in my life. we such a couple who afraid by time and God's plan. sometimes i thought we were meant together forever and ever but i'm awaken by my heart voice and those made me stronger to face the truth about you and us
it's only about time. yeah, when i heard my heart voice, i felt one more time chance to not give up to get happiness. even i knew time flies too fast, i just have to use the chance and make it best until God say: it's done
losing someone who you love at the most always hurt and made us down - weak, but you know? when the "it's done" words was said by God, it means that we're done to do our portion in our life for people around us. maybe the way of saying was not fine with an accident, illness, et cetera (suicide is not accepted for God!) but every losing has a message to be understood. everyone must to exceed those part. before the part happen, we just have to enjoy life, make best memories to remember when we have to leave this world, don't waste your time for something that unimportant.
oh yeah, my religion taught me about this:
please be nice when you're living in this world because when you have to face the recent court and when you were asked: what have you done in your life? how about your responsibility? you could answer it without any obstacles. one very important thing was even you did so much goodness in your life such as read bible everyday, went to church, join charities, et cetera; but when you couldn't answer one of the question and responsible for what you have done, it made your scale of goodness and unlawfulness unbalance. your unlawfulness part would be so high just with one unaswer question :)
oh G! to be honest, i still didn't get your way of pretend that you were loving someone. you looked like only utilized girls' feeling then you threw them away when you got bored of them. and for God sake, you're extremely having a chicken attitude who protected yourself from faults and change the truth. it would like you were so guiltless. overwhelmed the mistakes to your ex-partner, your brainwash to your friends was TOTALLY COOL! *standing applause*
karma does exist, chicken. and you will receive what you have did to people with replies in kind. enjoy your day, be the best chicken i ever knew in my life! you're still the best chicken and will always be
anw, i have a quote for you:
chicken always been a chicken, your dream to be a peacock was too high for a chicken like you!
