the perfectionist one.

yes, that's me.

have just realized about it, yesterday. how I hate this, too much.

I try to be well-arranged and do everything like it has arranged before. but sometimes, because of some reasons, they just could not happen. and I started to piss off.

I realize this is bad, and become worse. I guess. I just can't control it. you guys can blame it on me if you want to.

now, I have to pass one event. or more. without this perfectionism. hard to be true. do not know how to make it true. surely, i do not know.

everything has to be arranged days before. when I heard something that suppose to admit wisely, I was mad. anyway, I thought the decision is connected with responsibility. once again, I did not know why I could say: "up to them, that's their right." and some answers I typed arbitrarily as I wanted to answer without thinking about it.

I blame myself for it now. deep blame. I should move on and try to make a good event then. I just can not leave this perfectionism behind. I'm just afraid if I lose control for holding back this belief inside. being such an ignorant. that is not me at all. then, I have to be a feeling hider again, a good pretender.

:(

love life's peek-a-boo

what a rare moment I put a love life post on my blog. yeah, at least, my post is merely about broken-hearted condition. silly things after one year and months I broke up. that's my bad anyway :|
btw, gah! I don't know where I have to start telling this peek-a-boo!

let start introducing.
I'm in (maybe) kind of like with a guy. can't describe about him furthermore.
realized about it since April. and being normal in actions or responses to him.
the hardest problem is I can't do any jobs without him around. always meet him in any opportunity, and becomes a partner in some jobs. absolutely, my religious service won't wait me until the day I can stay away from him. such a professional connection.
I don't know why I like him. or maybe it already improves into love with affections or something else (?)
okay then, he's the charming one. he gets the charisma. he's the calmest one. he's the well-controlled one. he has something indescribable things which make me speechless. it's not about his hobby, or his passion. but there's a falling-cause thingy on him.
recently, I felt he kind of giving a sign about that-falling-thingy to me, either. I honestly say that I don't put a high hope to him, indeed because I realize he still has a feeling for a girl (don't know about it now). some people say, he doesn't anymore. some people already feel a weird thing between he and I.
someone told be bravely: "I see something different with him when he's with you. something I never see except for the ex-girl he liked."
don't want to be too confidence about it, I just let it flow. but that thing disturbed me a bit much. actually, I feel it too. he teases me physically and he doesn't do that to other girls. sometimes I see and look for that thing.
the last weird thing is we were messaged to talk about the future of our jobs, for 2 days and this is the first time I saw him enthusiastically talking about something. teasing each other by message. it was the weird one.
but then, he changed again to be the plegmatis one who is so ignorant.
it becomes a usual thing that I admit about him.
in the end, I don't know how to response and react. I'm just afraid of misunderstanding :(

face cow. cow face.

anyway, how I love cow stuffs so much! :)

taken by: Albert

cow stuff: Mariza

:D

late-update

sorry for my late update. my bad, too busy and too hectic lately :|
it's HOLIDAY now! at least for 3 weeks
gonna have fun at home with my family :D

hope it's gonna be a short happy holiday.
can't imagine when I should leave home at September 5th.

Togetherness in Big Family :)

how cute this logo, isn't it? :D

yeah! that's a logo for KMK's event. PMB 2011 (kind of orientation for new students, red.)

anyway, involving the committee is being such a happy-'happy' choice. couldn't remember how could I say 'yes' to the chairwoman for my position now. be a coordinator for event division.

I started my career from a staff of Christmas' event division in KMK and now, I have to finish this well. I'm the perfectionist one, unfortunately *sigh*

meeting, preparations, spiritual sessions, expos, and evaluations were being my routine activities for 4 weeks in a row. ah! actually I had one week holiday but it was a 'holi-day' because I helped KMK's board of management to prepare our official secretariat  (btw, congratulation! :D)

it ended already, last two weeks. thanks a lot to all people who helped us!

especially for: PanDas, singers, musicians, MCs

my dedication is for you all! for your hard-work and cooperativeness with us :)

they are my lovely SQUAD! ♥

how  grateful I am to have such really amazing children like you guys!

by the way~, KMK still has one event to go. as a continuing event from PMB 2011.

proudly presents:

we still do our best preparation for this last event.

God bless us! ♥