i'm graduate!

after a week waiting for the announcement, finally i got it!
i can pass the national exams and school's. so, i'm graduate :D
i have finished my high school year  for 3 years. but i didn't really satisty with the result :(
thanks God anw (:
still waiting for graduation celebration on may 21th
and vacation to Bali with my school mates! awesome :p

hey 'bestfriends'

hey, hello 'bestfriends'  ♥ 

how long we have been together? for a relation that called 'friendship'. it thought it was quiet long, more than 3 years, right? if i didn't wrong to count it. and what did we get from our 'friendship' so far? maybe i got mistakes to you but you didn't tell me like a bestfriend. you talked behind me maybe, gossiped me in front of the other that maybe i never know about them. i do not judge you, but your action made me think that you were not so matching to be called bestfriend. how many times i have told that you have disappointed me? sometimes maybe. i have tried to tell you about those but your responses? just made me wanna vomit in front of you, so you will realize how disappointed me to write your name on my bestfriend list ever. let me see, i considered that when we have been separated by different school, it might make some transformation depended on you. first time when i felt the difference, i started to think that just our school environment changed us but day by day, everything made me open my eyes that the difference between us was too far. i didn't get any compatibility with you again as before. i tried to use my portion and to understand you, accept you as you are but i thought you were out of control. you did whatever you want with your own way, i apologized at you firstly. i never can't follow your way that it was not me at all. i do not want to finish our 'friendship', you have to know this. besides, you still did your selfishness and it made me sure that i have to make a distance with you just to prevent a fight.

we were still friends. but not bestfriends.

anw, i wanna say thanks to you 'bestfriends'. and i just wanna have bestfriends, not 'bestfriends' who act like a shit! best wishes for you, 'bestfriends' ♥

love, affection, confidence

because of love, affection, confidence - i gave you everything inside of me without any exception
 

those answer which i always gave to you when you asked me why.
those which made me stay whenever whatever however.
those still planted on my mind even problems came too much.

you know what? i knew my past life was too bad for a girl who still on second grade of high school year. i realized that i was too confident with myself to enter your life. and i convinced you will never accept my life as it was. but i tried to change, i have attempted myself to be better so i fit to be near with you. you changed everything, you said you wanted to try to be a bad boy with playing with many girls, smoking, and clubbing. you wanted to be worse than me so you couldn't say i was a bad girl. you turned yourself as before you met me. an ignorant behaviour, just answer if i asked you, turn off your cellphone, rejected my calls, acted like i was not there. you knew i hurted, i cried and so did you. but you made your heart like a stone. what did you want from me? i have said a lot of words and tried to sure you that i need you, i love you. if you wanted me to follow your role, i would if it just the only one way to make you stay with me again.
you can change yourself and your feeling to me but i will not change anything in myself about you. i still the same, still waiting for you even i knew you change to be not you again as i accepted you beforely. an honest love and a pure love will only give to you, you're the winner of my heart though there will another better than you.

a confession

i'm yours. and you're mine.

forever :')

high emotion first day on holiday :(

feel so regret i rejected my friends invitation to have fun at waterboom PIK. so bored at home because my mom always talked nonstop. oh G! mom, could you please stop your mouth just for hours then? i need my peace holiday. i have just one day at home but i have to hear your griping about this and that. my holiday is so long, mom. 5 months! :(

and the truth always won :D

for a long long long time, i've been telling my friend that she has been played by a chicken. but she didn't hear me until i got tired to tell and open her eyes about those thing. so i thought i have to be silent and ignoring them. just few days after i thought, she told me that those chicken would end everything after school's final exam. AHA! it was a shitty man. didn't you look on the mirror about your action? so poor you boy. acted like a chicken who just spoke too much but action was A BIG ZERO. if you want to mad on some people, you have to introspect what you have done. you can mad then. and now, i glad to know that my friend ended with you. super duper like those! just play with your sucks game. you will see how sucks you are.
anw, congrats my friend! you have a new life without those chicken. i'm happy for you, super! :D

a day before a freedom

tomorrow will be my last day for school and study for all unwanted thing. i will get my freedom for a very long long long holiday! excited for the first time, and bored at the last. so sad :p

i used to.

i used to tell you that i won't let you go again from my life. yeah, it used to.
now i really understand when you answered me: i will stay. you put your finger in front of my lip then: keep silent sweetheart. we spent our time in silence, no word to say. nothing to do. i love you, words i still made me melting when you said to me. i hate to say that you're not by my side now because i need you concretely. talking to me like a child with a cute voice but it sucks :p
i ask you why about this and that but you only answer me: i have no reason for everything i have done with you. even the most pain suffer you, you still stand strongly. i start to talk about future when you worn me a ring: i will marry you, the only one i want to. you prevented everything that maybe made ours indanger. the sweet action for what we have through together: i miss you deeply madly truly.

logic vs feeling.

men used logic.
women used feeling.
was it true? perhaps :p


sorry if someone or anyone felt alluded. but i have no word to say anything again. because you were so dumb and stubborn. my friend and i have said anything we could say until we said out rude words from the zoo. but you're still same. nothing changes. still stupid for being love slave of him.
even love made our life colorful, we still have to consider when love made you like a very super duper idiot. i love my boyfriend, he was so far away from me. but when he did something that annoyed me or unappriciated me, i will leave him as soon as possible after i gave him a chance to make some motion forward.
but you? stuck in one place. not moving. like an idiot. he hurts you honey! where's your brain, huh? you're a young girl with talents and gorgeous. but you wasted your time for a boy who just made you so terrible. every person has known what he has did to you, and he supposed to be judged bad or maybe worst because he never aprriciated you as a girl who has a self esteem. you have been trampled by him but you were too scared to know and confess about it. you were running from the truth.
if people stamped him as a bad boy, it was a truth! you just defended him from people. he just a boy who want to have fun with you. he approached you when he wanted to but he left you when he didn't want you.
i can't overwhelm everything to him because you have a mistake too. you are giving him an oppotunity to trample you as a trash and slave. so? not just him, you too.

first day on april.

APRIL MOP! :p
anw, today i can get my holiday from school. but i still have to prepare the material for practical exam next week. speaking english test, indonesian speech test, music test for individual and group, religion test - the tenth God's command with the values inside. so, is it calling with holiday?
tomorrow is the good friday! time flies so fast, huh? :(
i count my day before the last day i will go to school. maybe just 1 week efective days.

happy bday to me! :D

thanks for the surprise guys! love you all :D