a-'boom'-boost

thank God I already passed one event that really afraid about happily even though it was far from my plan especially for the participants. everything was good either :)
BUT, it's not the end of my busy day. beside I have to concern about my lecturing days, I suppose to finish my last job as one of consumption division for the next two days event. OK, it seems not very hard too. in fact, there are still so much to do to be finished in this last two days.
I surely can say that my expectation for this division is disappointed. in one side, I disrespect with the committee and should underline this: my coordinator, indeed. don't know how to say but I almost do her job myself because she was far way to be reached for and hardly to be phoned or communicated. in condition that this division still only had a lil' progress for the day. anyway, it's already better. I mean, the preparation only needs some things to do again, but STILL I don't know about the progress and the data don't synchronize with equipment division. kinda tired of giving attention for this one.
another feeling had come to me recently. I feel not capable to be a part of this committee. I don't help much, I always could not involve when the others looked for funds by selling some products or playing instrument for restaurants. I did not work properly as the responsibility is given to me. in some ways, most of people on that committee give me that permission to never involve those activities after I got very tired with expos on every wave (it was extremely tired), but I just want to help. in the end, I do nothing for my division.
last but not least, I can't get comfort this the people inside. there is something less which makes me not enthusiastic for the event. in other words, I feel like there's no nothing to do in this weekend. how do I feel so terrible with this kinda situation. I mean, I should earn more spirit because it's already two days before. sometimes I want to be participants who only have to follow the activities there.

in summary, I should do those things. I have to. I must. I'm just praying the best for this event and let God do the rest. then, I'm trying to hold my anger until the event finishes. a friend of mine said to me that I have to be careful not to explode when I hold it. just a small wish, hope it can be true :)